Feelings?? Do I Have To?

For some people, feelings can seem like a bother.  For other people, they push feelings away and dismiss them.

But feelings are important. Why is that?

First you need to know that in your brain, feelings are being created or triggered all the time. It seems unfortunate to miss all that information that your brain is creating!

Feelings give us information about ourselves and our environment that our intellect cannot. For example, have you ever wondered why you just don’t want to do something.  Maybe it is anxiety or fear that keeps you from doing it.  Once you identify the anxiety, understand it, and can help yourself emotionally, the task you have been avoiding becomes possible.

Identifying and understanding our feelings can lead to personal growth. For example someone who yells at their wife and kids will not have the closeness that they yearn for.  Once the “yeller”  pays attention to their own feelings and discovers that it is feelings of insecurity or fear that prompts their yelling, the “yeller” can begin to help themselves heal, reduce the yelling and begin to repair his family relationships.

Feelings are what bind us to each other When we talk about our deep, personal feelings with another person, we feel connected, attached.  And it is this attachment that keeps relationships going through the ups and downs of life,

So what if you don’t know how to identify your feelings? Many of us don’t.   Try the Alarm exercise. Put an alarm on your phone for three times a day (doesn’t matter when).  When the alarm goes off ask yourself one question – what do I feel right now?  You are not looking for any great insight at this point, you are simply developing a skill of identifying your feelings.  If you are not sure of the word for the feeling, google Feeling Wheel.  You will find different examples of a feeling wheel, but which ever one you choose, the wheel will give you more vocabulary for your feelings. And many of us just need more words, more vocabulary for our feelings.

Feelings? Do I have to? I would encourage you to explore this world of feelings and keep to these three principles-

Practice identifying feelings
Learn about yourself
Heal and grow

If you would like to learn more about yourself, your feelings and your relationships, call The Center for Hope & Healing at 936-524-7523 or contact us through our website, www.thecenterforhopeandhealing.net