Parenting is Hard…Let’s not make it harder

We have all been there –
Your newborn crying into the wee hours of the night –
Your toddler screaming because he can’t have the package of gummies for breakfast –
Your first grader getting bullied at school –
Your fourth grader lying about completing his homework –
Your eighth grader experimenting with drugs –
Your high school student sneaking out to visit his girlfriend.

No matter the age of your child, there will always be challenges. Yes, there are so many amazing things about being a parent and the joys that children can bring to our life. There are however, moments where we as parents have an opportunity to embrace and move through the challenges or make them more difficult. 

This blog is going to provide you with a few quick tips on how to embrace the chaos and work to develop habits that will steady the hard times instead of igniting the fire.

Child Specific Tips

1. Learn about your child’s developmental stage. Many of us fly by the seat of our pants when it comes to parenting. We do what we were taught or whatever feels right in the moment. Take some time to search the web or ask a professional. Most of the time it will be short bits of information that can really become  game changers.
2. Be realistic. We live in a world where societal norms are being pushed but are still very much a present part of parenting. What your children and your family do (your family values and rules) should be based on you, not what everyone else is doing with their child. Its okay to have different standards for your children based on their abilities and what you think is best for them
3. Let them learn. If your child is not harming themselves or someone/something else (and by harm, I mean actual harm, not making a mess) then let them learn. Children, adolescents, and teens, learn by doing not by hearing. Give them an opportunity to learn through making mistakes and taking chances.

Parent Specific Tips

1. Know your own limitations and let go of expectations. If you don’t understand your own triggers, how will you ever maintain emotional presence and regulation for your child?  When we understand our own ability to be present, work at our own emotional regulations and can be truly attuned to our child, we will have greater success at loving and living life with our children.
2. Take care of yourself. Self-care is one of the most important things we as parents can do for our children. And I don’t just mean bubble baths and weekend trips, but also the ability to say no to filling our schedule and yes to time just at home. Not only does this show our children that taking care of themselves is important, but it also provides us the space to refill our own cup so we can better pour into them.
3. Let it go. Give yourself a break. Learn to let go of all the ways you didn’t show up for them and embrace the times that you did. Find what works for you and be willing to change it as life changes with you. You are an incredible parent because you want to be the best for your child. Give yourself a chance to mess up, make mistakes, apologize, and keep going. It will show them more than you can ever know.

Parenting is hard but there are so many things we can do to help reduce the pressure and allow for joy to exist in the chaos. If you need additional support in becoming the best parent you can be for your child, reach out. We are here and want to help!